Sunrise, Sunrise

"I like to compare God's love to the sunrise. 

That sun shows up every morning, no matter how bad you've been the night before. 

It shines without judgement. It never withholds. 

It warms the sinners, the saints, the druggies, the cheerleaders - 

the saved and the heathens alike. 

You can hide from the sun, but it won't take that personally. 

It'll never, ever punish you for hiding. 

You can stay in the dark for years or decades, and when you finally step outside, it'll be there. 

It was there the whole time, shining and shining. 

It'll still be there, steady and bright as ever, just waiting for you to notice, to come out, to be warmed. 

All those years, I thought of God and light and the sun as judgmental, but they weren't. 

The sunrise was my daily invitation from God to come back to life."

- Glennon Doyle Melton from Carry on, Warrior: Thoughts on Life Unarmed  

Authentic Me

So I'm sure by now you're sick of hearing about me reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I promise, this is the last post about it (at least for now...)

One of the things she talks about towards the end of the book is the way that dancing, music, and laughter are foundational to living a "wholehearted" life. I could not agree more. One thing she made for herself is a playlist called "authentic me." It is a collection of songs that make her feel like herself. She didn't explain much why she chose songs but left it at that. 

I decided to make my own "authentic me" playlist. 
The list below are either songs I never get sick of listening to, have impacted me in different ways, make me want to get up and dance, or songs I just simply love. 

1. The Seed & the Ground - JJ Alberhasky
2. By the Mark - Gillian Welch
3. Countdown - Beyonce
4. Carry On - Fun.
5. Gathering Stories - Jonsi
6. Lost and Found - Katie Herzig
7. The Trapeze  Swinger - Iron & Wine
8. 23 - Jimmy Eat World
9. Rain - Patty Griffin
10. Shine - David Gray
11. Portions for Foxes - Rilo Kiley
12. Years and Years - Sidehill Winders
13. Land of the Living - Matthew Perryman Jones
14. How the Day Sounds - Greg Laswell
15. Raconte-Moi Une Histoire - M83
16. After the Storm - Mumford & Sons
17. My Love - Justin Timberlake feat. T.I.
18. Window in the Skies - U2
19. The District Sleeps Alone - The Postal Service
20. Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
21. On Your Porch - The Format
22. Arms - Christina Perri
23. Blood Bank - Bon Iver
24. Blood - The Middle East
25. I Thought - The Kevin Reid Project
26. Need & Thread - Sleeping at Last
27. Kids - MGMT
28. Shake it Out - Florence + The Machine
29. Dog Problems - The Format
30. Land of Hope and Dreams - Bruce Springsteen

I've got this on repeat.

Things I Learned...

... This weekend.

1. I've got the best big brother. I know that it's not something I just learned and I'm totally biased but I've got to say it. My brother is getting married this summer to Becca whom I absolutely adore. This weekend we had the first bridal shower for Becca. Andrew made an appearance and brought the beautiful flowers pictured above. It's been such a cool shift for me to see Andrew as not just a big brother and a son in my family but to a husband. It makes my heart full just thinking about how wonderful of a husband he will be. 
2. There are such things as rain days and for that matter multiple ones. This past weekend (well Thursday & Friday) my little city was underwater. The schools shut down, I couldn't get out of my neighborhood, life seemed to just halt. Who knew that "rain days" or "flood days" could shut down whole cities. 
3. Sometimes life feels like a movie. My roommates and I (on said rain day) watched Zero Dark Thirty. I had seen it already but loved it just as much the second time. It felt surreal sitting in front of my computer Friday night watching the FBI, Boston police department, and other law enforcement literally hunt the second suspect from the Boston marathon bombings. I had such mixed emotions Friday evening. I was grateful that the suspect was in custody but it didn't even begin to subside the heartache I felt for the community of Boston and their families. It didn't feel like the end, but just the beginning... hopefully the beginning of lots and lots of healing.
4. It's just okay to be in bed at 9 PM. Who cares if that happens to be on a Friday night... right?
5. You know you really love a book when you look down at any page and all you see is your green sharpie pen covering the page. As I mentioned here. I'm currently reading The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and I am fascinated (and underlining a ton.) My favorite thing I read today was, "We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart."  Are you reading any good books? Any recommendations? 

To Suffer With

It's been hard not to have a heavy heart since 2 pm on Monday afternoon. I don't know what it is, I've gotten older and "understand more" or tragedies like the Boston Marathon Bombings occur more regularly these days. Either way, when tragedy strikes it stirs up all different emotions.

I've been on a Brene Brown kick lately. If you haven't read/watched/listened to any of her stuff, it really is worth checking out. (Her website is right here.) I'm currently reading The Gifts of Imperfection. She explains the three foundational pieces of embracing a whole hearted living, one being compassion. As I sat in Starbucks yesterday afternoon, watching the rain pour down (again,) in the midst of checking my twitter feed to get the most recent updates about the bombings more often than I'd like to admit, I was struck by her words.

Brene Brown writes, 

"Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. 

It's a relationship between equals... 

Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity." 

My prayer is that we may be a people of compassion, understanding that in moments of deep tragedy, and also in the mundane moments of everyday life, we're just like our neighbor.

Things I Learned...

... the last couple months.

First off, I want to apologize for my absence the last couple months. To be totally honest, life got the best of me and my energy needed to be poured into the things that were in front of me, not on the internet. But alas, I am back and excited for what's in store for my life and echo grace as spring is finally here and the many things I have to look forward to the rest of 2013. 

1. It is never a bad idea to re-read one of your favorite books. One of my favorite authors is C.S. Lewis (it's who my cat Clive is named after!) When I was a senior in high school and then a sophomore in college I read Mere Christianity. I picked it up again two weeks ago and it's been just as refreshing as I remember. Grateful how words that I've read many times can still speak boldly into my life.
2. The best place to spend a Saturday night is Ikea and Chilis. It was Saturday evening at about 7 PM and my roommates and I didn't have a ton to do so we hopped in my car and headed to Ikea. I seriously could spend hours there. I dare anyone to walk into that place and walk out with nothing, it is impossible. And hard not to be there and think of this movie.
3. After watching countless youtube videos, I finally learned how to do a sock bun. It has changed my life. Okay, that's dramatic. 
4. Technology is a wonderful thing. In the last week I've been able to video chat with two of my good friends who live in Lawrence, KS and Princeton, NJ. Don't get me a wrong, I'm a huge fan of snail mail and writing letters but there is something so refreshing about being able to see the faces of my friends.
5. I still love Mad Men. Two years ago Chicago was bombarded by a massive snow storm known as the snowpocolypse. AKA I was locked in my house for two days and I decided to start watching Mad Men (and watched two seasons in two days.) Over "spring break" this year I got myself all caught up and ready for the premier of season 6. My thoughts without giving things away? Peggy Olsen is a babe. Joan is still my favorite. Don is always doing wrong but somehow it works. And Pete is the worst, absolutely the worst.  

Things I Learned...

... This weekend.

1. The Half the Sky documentary is just as powerful and wonderful as the book. Half the Sky's vision is to spread awareness of that educating women is what is going to change families, communities, countries, and the world. Check out more information here.
2. Simply just holding a cup of coffee always makes me feel better. 
3. Working with close friends makes work not just manageable but truly enjoyable. Over the weekend I worked a weekend camp for hundreds of high school students with Young Life. Although it was a lot of work being able to work alongside people I love is such a blessing.
4. Old fashion colored Christmas lights are my favorite. Last night JJ and I took his dog Flash for a walk around his neighborhood. The houses were all decorated so beautifully but the ones with those colorful bulbs will always be my favorite.
5. I don't like when it's sixty degrees in Chicago in December. I might be singing a different tune come February but right now it's suppose to be cold and snowy. 

Enough

we were just there together.

and that was enough.

- perks of being a wallflower [stephen, chbosky]

Things I Learned...

... This weekend.

1. I actually like high school football. The high school where I lead Young Life at is undefeated and in the state playoffs. And I really find it exciting. Minus sitting out in the freezing cold, it's fun to watch the kids I know and love, be excited and proud of their peers and their community. I'm honored that I get to play a small part in that and participate in their excitement. 
2. No matter how many puppies I see, they're always exciting. On Sunday my parents got the cutest little next puppy named Alfie. I'm in love. He's a havanese. Don't worry, I'm sure there will be plenty of pictures to come.
3. Lake Michigan is gorgeous. On Saturday my dad and I drove up to western Michigan to celebrate my grandma's birthday and to be with family. My grandparents live in a small town with one stop sign (not even a light, just a stop sign!) right on Lake Michigan. I think that God has blessed us abundantly by painting beautiful skies for us but there is something different about a fall sky over water. 
4. The book Perks of Being a Wallflower is just as good the second time around. I read the book going into my freshman year of college and loved it. I'm in a book club with some friends and we chose it again. There are so many different things that stuck out to me but I loved it all the same... "Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve." Gosh, gets me every time.
5. As I was following the Kansas Jayhawk football score on twitter this weekend and was yet again said to see a loss. I had a moment realizing that the Kansas Jayhawks play their first regular season game on Friday. Watch out southeast missouri state. I'll be wearing my game day flannel Friday.